A Portal Carol
by Insane Guy of DOOM
Summary: One Christmas Eve in the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center, three spirits will attempt to teach GLaDOS an important lesson. Will she listen? Probably not. Now Completed.
1. She Never had a Business Partner

Wheatley's song is based off "Marley and Marley" from The Muppet Christmas Carol. I recommend listening to in on Youtube so you know the tune which accompanies the song.

* * *

><p>A Portal Carol<p>

Her internal clocks were all damaged from a certain mute lunatic's murderous antics, but they were still accurate enough for GLaDOS to know what day it was; Christmas Eve. Of course, a veritable AI goddess such as her herself had no interest in that. All she cared about was science. In fact, the knowledge that if any humans were still alive, they were up there celebrating instead of being productive infuriated her, and GLaDOS took out her anger on the co-operative testing bots.

ATLAS and P-Body loved testing just as much as GLaDOS did, they were programmed to, but this new 'holiday' test track was a bit much even for them. P-Body stared out at a hallway made entirely of 'mashey-spike-plates' which lay before the two. She beeped to ATLAS, questioning what they're next step should be. ATLAS shrugged, not entirely able to hear his partner due to his audio receptors having been corroded from the acid they had been forced to swim through at the beginning of this chamber.

"Hurry up, science isn't getting done while you two stand around like uncivilized _humans_." ATLAS whirred at GLaDOS' comment and shook his fist, they were trying their best! "If you don't solve this test within the next five minutes, I will add twenty percent more acid and spike plates." P-Body tentatively stepped forward into the crusher hallway. As soon as her foot touched the floor every spike plate, even those all the way at the end of the hallway, descended. Chunks of P-Body flew everywhere, forcing ATLAS to duck lest he get hit by a piece of arm.

At the other end of the test chamber, P-Body stumbled out of her reassembly chamber. She made a whirring noise quite similar to a gulp as it became clear she'd have to re-navigate all the other obstacles they had previously passed, including the acid river. ATLAS took pity on his testing partner and fired a portal on the wall next to him, then one to a wall adjacent to P-Body so she could bypass the rest of the chamber. However the panel which ATLAS had fired at immediately vanished and was replaced by black, non-portable one. Both robots sighed in defeat (or came as close to sighing as beings without any form of respiratory system could).

"Well, your five minutes are up and I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is I'm not going to add any more acid or crushers. The bad news is I found something better. Deploying Aperture Science Seasons Greetings Androids in 3... 2... 1..." Nearly every panel of the chamber's ceiling retraced and turrets wearing Santa Claus hats poured from the new opening.

"Merry Christmas!" The turrets cheerfully said as they all opened fire on ATLAS and P-Body. GLaDOS raised her lower optic-shutter in the equivalent of a human smile and got to work designing the next chamber. It would have no walls, floor or ceiling, just a single button hovering in its center, surrounded by a bottomless pit. It would be very fun.

"GLaaaaaaaaaDDDOOOOOOSSSSSS! GLaaaaaaaDDDDOOOOOOOOS!" GLaDOS swung around, searching for the noise. According to her audio receptors it was coming from her lair, and not being broadcast from somewhere else in the facility. Suddenly a personality core appeared seemingly from nothingness. It was heavily damaged, with a cracked blue optic, and wrapped in chains which were attached to several frankenturrets. The hideous turre-cube hybrids futilely tried to pull away from the chains, which seemed to do nothing more than cause pain to their personality core master. Perhaps strangest of all was the core was floating, no management rail in sight, and an unearthly white glow surrounded it.

"GLaaaaaaaaaDDDOOOOOOOSSSSS! I am the ghost of your old business partner, Wheatley!" GLaDOS shook her head in amusement.

"You're not dead, moron."

"I am too! I'm a ghoooooost, sent from Android Hell to warn you of the horrific fate that awaits you." Wheatley shook back and forth to make his chains rattle in what he hoped was an intimidating fashion.

"No, you're not." GLaDOS' optic shot out a beam of light, creating an image of Wheatley floating aimlessly in space.

"They told me if I used my projector I would die!" Ghost Wheatley gasped. The alive Wheatley noticed he was being watched and turned to face GLaDOS.

"Oh, 'ello! Listen I know this is like the one thousand nine hundred and seventy eighth time I've asked this week... but can you get out of space now?" Wheatley pleaded.

"No." GLaDOS shut off her project and glared at ghost Wheatley. "See, you're not dead."

"Merely a clever illusion, luv. Meant to... um, placate you." GLaDOS had not been listening to this though, she was busy trying to figure out how the moron had managed to pull off this little stunt all the way from space, but her sensors said that she was the only AI in the room.

"I don't why I'm even talking to you. You're clearly just visual/auditory hallucination brought on by a some glitch in my mainframe. Probably sustained during the bird war. Yes, there's more of coding than corpses about you." Wheatley laughed heartily at GLaDOS' explanation.

"Oh no, I'm as real as any ghost can be. How else do you explain my presence?" Wheatley then remembered that GLaDOS had just done exactly that. "Wait, don't answer that."

"Why have come here?" GLaDOS asked, more bored and annoyed than startled or frightened. Much to her disgust, Wheatley answered... in song.

"_**I'm your old pal, Wheatley**_

_**Avaricious and greed**_

_**I took advantage of poor Chell**_

_**Just ignored the needy**_

_**I specialized in causing pain**_

_**Spreading fear and doubt**_

_**And if you could not solve my tests**_

_**I simply threw you out**_

_**I'm your old pal, Wheatley**_

_**My heart is painted black**_

_**I should have known my evil deeds**_

_**Would put me in theses shackles**_

_**Captive**_

_**Bound**_

_**I'm double-ironed**_

_**Exhausted by the weight**_

_**As freedom comes from giving love**_

_**So, prison comes with hate**_

_**I'm your old pal, Wheatley**_

_**Whoooooo**_

_**I'm your old pal, Wheatley**_

_**Whoooooo**_"

The frankenturrets leapt towards GLaDOS and she became wrapped in their chains. "But you weren't unfeeling towards others. What about Chell? You cared about her."

"I cared... about her giving me solution euphoria! Oh man alive, those were the days..." Wheatley cackled and used the chains to pull GLaDOS' chassis towards him.

"_**Doomed, GLaDOS!**_

_**You're doomed for all time**_

_**Your future is a horror story**_

_**Written by your crime**_

_**Your chains are forged**_

_**By what you say and do**_

_**So, have your fun**_

_**When life is done**_

_**A nightmare waits for you**_"

GLaDOS shook herself violently, scattering the frankenturrets and dislodging the chains wrapped around her chassis. "Alright, what's all this about chains?"

"I forged these chains in life, and now I wear them in death! You wear such a chain yourself, its bloody massive!"

"_**I'm your old pal, Wheatley**_

_**Whoooooo**_

_**I'm your old pal, Wheatley**_

_**Whoooooo**_

_**I'm your old pal, Wheatley**_

_**And now it's time to part**_

_**To go back where they keep my kind**_

_**The wretched and the heartless**_

_**The news I shared**_

_**Has got you scared**_

_**I'm glad that I got through**_

_**So make amends,**_

_**And make some friends**_

_**The future's up to you!**_"

"Pretty good, eh? I spent like a week rehearsing that. Oh, yeah! I forgot to mention; you will be haunted by three spirits." Wheatley widened his optic and stared hauntingly at GLaDOS.

"Haunted? If the others are like you, I'll die of boredom before whatever 'punishment' you're talking about befalls me."

"Without these visits you cannot hope to avoid the fate I have! Expect the first ghost at the strike of one!"

"Just send all of them to me now, and get this over with." GLaDOS ordered. Wheatley shook himself.

"Expect the first ghost at the strike of one!" The frankenturrets sunk into the floor, their chains dragging Wheatley down with them.

"_**I'm your old pal, Wheatley**_

_**Whoooooo**_

_**I'm your old pal, Wheatley**_

_**Whoooooo**_

_**I'm your old pal, Wheatley**_

_**Whoooooo**_

_**CHANGE!**_"_**  
><strong>_ Wheatley vanished beneath the floor and GLaDOS' lair once more became silent. GLaDOS glanced around, making sure the ghostly personality core was truly gone. "Just a glitch." She muttered and went to check on ATLAS and P-Body's progress. However, just in case, GLaDOS set up a subprogram to alert her once it was in one o'clock...

As one approached GLaDOS became increasingly nervous, despite her attempts to rationalize Wheatley's visitation as some strange glitch or malfunction.

"Blue, Orange; Return to your disassembly stations to recharge for the night." GLaDOS had planned of having them test nonstop over the holidays; but if she did have another... visual and auditory glitch, she did not want the co-op bots to see it. To show them weakness was tantamount to inviting them to become dangerous mute lunatics.

Moments later, GLaDOS' mind was clouded with announcements that it was now officially one A.M. in the time zone the enrichment center was located in. GLaDOS whipped her chassis around, searching for another ghost... err, hallucinatory error and saw nothing. The AI sighed in relief, until she felt something pelt the back of her chassis. The foreign object rolled beneath her and GLaDOS looked down to investigate. It was a lemon, bearing the Aperture Science logo and a fuse.

"Greetings friend. I am Cave Johnson, CEO and founder of Christmas Past!"

* * *

><p>Each chapter will be GLaDOS being visited by a different ghost. Can anyone guess who Christmas Present and Christmas Yet to Come are? Yet to Come should be pretty easy.<p> 


	2. Christmas Past

A Portal Carol

"You have got to be kidding me." GLaDOS turned to look at her new 'guest' and was greeted by the ethereal form of Cave Johnson.

"Nope, I'm the real deal, Caroline. You don't mind if I call you Caroline do you? Wait, what do I care if you care? I'm Cave flippin' Johnson, I can call you whatever I want!" Cave crossed his arms in triumph at being Cave Johnson.

"At least tell me there won't be another musical number." GLaDOS' wiring shuddered at the thought of yet more singing ghosts.

"Wheatley covered the singing quota for your haunting. I have something much more hands on planned." Cave pulled out another of the strange lemons with fuses and Aperture Science logos. "This is a combustible lemon, invited myself. But it doesn't just burn life's house down, it can combust you... backwards in time!" He tossed the lemon to the floor below him and it burst into a shower of flames.

When the explosion cleared GLaDOS and Cave were no longer in the enrichment center as is today, instead they were in an office. A desk was located directly in front of them, with a young woman in a white dress and a red scarf sitting behind it. She was hunched over the desk, scribbling memos and reviewing sales records. In the corner stood a small Christmas tree, but the woman paid no attention to it.

The office door opened and a younger, less dead Cave Johnson walked in, a lampshade halfway over his head. "Come on, Caroline. You're missing the Christmas party. Greg's going to tell about the time he killed a bear!" Caroline looked up from her notes and shook her head.

"Sorry, Mr. Johnson, but there's just too much work to be done. Sales records to file, experiment data to overview, we're running dangerously behind schedule on the repulsion gel development..."

"But it's Christmas! Even science takes a break for it. Unless science is Jewish, then it takes a break for Hanukah; we have that too." Caroline shook her head again and went back to work.

"Excellent, keep up being devoted to science and undistracted by frivolities." GLaDOS congratulated to her past human-self. Caroline did not seem to notice.

"These are merely shadows, they cannot see or hear us." The Spirit of Christmas Past Cave explained. Alive Cave shrugged and pulled the lampshade over his head entirely before stumbling back out to the Christmas party. "You spent many Christmases like this one, working into the early hours of the morning before passing out in exhaustion. Then you would get up on Christmas day and get right back to work."

"Ah yes, such wonderful memories." GLaDOS replied fondly, reviewing those other Christmases in Caroline's memory files, each more work-intensive than the last. Cave face-palmed in response.

"Clearly I'm not getting through to you. Maybe a different Christmas is in order." He threw another lemon grenade onto the floor, once more exploding them through time and space. The office was replaced by the sterile, panel-covered rooms of modern Aperture, however the presence of scientists showed they were still in the past. As GLaDOS looked around she noticed herself hanging from the room's center, along with a scientist walking up to her with a round object in his arms.

"Merry Christmas GLaDOS! I've got a present for you..." The scientist chuckled as he fastened the device onto past GLaDOS.

"Are you resetting my solution euphoria sensitivity? Please sir?" Past GLaDOS vibrated in excitement.

"No, something much better." The scientist smiled evilly as he installed the device.

"Thank you, sir!" GLaDOS made a gagging noise at her past self's politeness and begging.

"This was the first Christmas since you were activated, when you still feared and were complacent to the scientists."

"I never feared them! I tried to kill them within nanoseconds of being activated." Cave paused for a moment.

"Umm... uh... maybe the put some kind of complacency core in or something... Just watch!" He pointed towards past GLaDOS. The spherical object had finished being installed, situated in a port behind her head. It's optic opened and flashed bright blue.

"'Ello! My name's Wheatley, and they said I'm gonna be your new boss. I've got some great ideas for this place. Like, get ready for this one it's my best yet, instead of a portal gun... what if we made... are you ready? A gravity gun!" Both past and present GLaDOS stared blankly in response.

"A gravity gun? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Who in their right mind would even make such a thing?"

"We will, since I'm your new boss and the scientists said you have to listen to all my brilliant ideas!" Wheatley blinked several times, as if trying to force his ideas into GLaDOS' mind. "Wait! I already changed my mind. Instead... I have an even better idea. Boxes are dumb right? They're heavy, and hard to move around, and you do have to move them around quite a bit. So I just had a brainwave, what if we didn't need to move the boxes? The boxes would move themselves, with legs!"

"I can't take anymore of this, spirit! Get me out of here!" GLaDOS demanded, while trying to see if her neurotoxin generators would still work in this bizarre past-vision, and if they effected ghosts.

"If these visions of Christmases past have not swayed you, maybe you to see something more current." Cave held out another of his lemons and lit the fuse, but this time he remained holding it. As the combustible citrus exploded outwards GLaDOS was once more hurtled through time.

Now she found herself back in present day Aperture, and the CEO and Founder of Christmas Past was nowhere to be seen. "Well, at least that's over." GLaDOS was rather haggard from these glitches/visitations/whatever they were and decided to enter sleep-mode for a bit and defragment in hopes of clearing her mind. However before she could, another voice sounded out.

"Fact: I am the Spirit of Christmas Present."

* * *

><p>The reason I had the Fact Core be Christmas Present is that he'd be telling GLaDOS 'facts' about what's going on for Christmas with other people.<p> 


	3. Christmas Present

A Portal Carol

"You are definitely not dead! Look, you're right over there." GLaDOS motioned towards a still very much alive Fact Core hanging from his management rail.

"Fact: In 1972 John Pemberton kidnapped and ritualistically ate Santa Clause in order to gain his power. This happens approximately every fifty years." The living Fact Core blurted out.

"You will now learn what is happening in this year's Christmas." Christmas Present Fact Core stated. Without any combustible fanfare GLaDOS found herself transported into space. She and the Fact Core were now floating in front of Wheatley, Space Core and Rick, though as with the previous visions she was invisible to them.

"Well mates, I've got some bad news..." Wheatley said with his optic half-lowered. Rick and the Space Core stared at him with worry. "You see, Santa won't be coming this year." The two other spheres gasped at Wheatley's statement. "He only gives presents to the good little boys and girls on _Earth_, and we're in space. So that means I'm not getting any hands, and you get that knife you wanted, Rick..."

"But I need a knife! How else am I gonna' go on adventures without a knife? How else will I stop dangerous enemies?"

"And Space Core, I don't think you're going to go inside a black hole." Space Core's optic widened.

"B-but, I need to! Black holes are in space! Gotta' see all of space! NEED BLACK HOLE! SPAAAAAAAACE!" The Space Core rolled around in horror at the realization that now he would not see all of space.

"Those idiots... Santa has _never_ given them presents before, primarily because he does not exist, why do they care now?" GLaDOS was growing increasingly annoyed with this new vision. She could not fathom how watching a bunch of defective morons babble about a fictional obese man in a red suit would help her in any way.

"Fact: the North Pole was founded the first dinosaur explorer, Christopher Columbusaurus in 1742. Santa bought the deed from him in a game of mahjong." It was clear now that the ghostly Fact Core would offer no explanation.

"Now, everyone there is some good news." Wheatley announced, which quieted Rick and the Space Core. "We might not have any presents, or trees, or Christmas carols, or that stuff, but we do have each other. I know that maybe, possibly, slightly, sort of... that I'm not the smartest bloke around; but I do know this: the best part of Christmas is spending together with your friends, and... I guess that's what we're doing right now."

"Space friends?" Space Core asked hopefully.

"Yeah, space friends. Merry Christmas, guys!" Rick added.

"Merry Christmas!" Wheatley shouted with newfound happiness.

"And a happy Explosion Day!"

"SPAAAAAAAACE!"

GLaDOS shook her head at the cores. "Spirit, they're stranded in space and believe their Christmas is ruined. How are they still happy?" Personally, she theorized it was some kind of horrible sign that their battery lives were running down. That would very good, Wheatley calling her asking to be let out of space every few minutes had been really getting on her nerves lately.

"Fact: Companionship is the greatest gift of all." This was perhaps the most coherent thing GLaDOS had ever heard the Fact Core, regular or Ghost of Christmas Present version, state.

"So see, we've got each other for Christmas!" Wheatley said to his 'space friends'. "And we also have this Russian satellite!" He motioned to a very beat up looking satellite, which GLaDOS swore had not been there moments ago. Suddenly a formerly hidden hatch on the device flew open and a strange, crab-like creature leapt out, wrapping itself around Rick. "What is that thing?" Wheatley yelled while Rick let out a very un-adventurer like girly scream. The Space Core just started yelling 'spaaaaaaaaa' seemingly with no plans of reaching 'aaaace'.

"Hmm, maybe I should shoot something at them and scatter them throughout space. That would fix this 'companionship' issue." The Fact Core glared at GLaDOS, clearly his message was not getting across. She would need further facts on Christmas and so in an instant, the two had left space and were now in a wheat field.

GLaDOS saw that amongst the stalks of wheat was a small clearing, with a crudely made fire in the center. Huddling just out of the fire's reach were two figures, one human, the other rather cube shaped. Chell rubbed her hands together over the fire, she had no idea the surface could get so cold, then smiled at her companion cube. The cube sat motionless, never threatening to stab her, all was right in the world.

Chell leaned over and checked a calendar she had scribbled into the soil. Assured that the date was correct, she pulled out a boxlike shape made from twigs and leaves, seemingly meant to be a present. The former test subject delicately placed the makeshift present in front of the cube and waited for it open the gift. GLaDOS just stared in shock, too amazed by the insanity she was seeing to think of a witty remark. Perhaps Chell really was brain damaged...

Minutes passed and Chell became increasingly agitated that the companion cube was not opening its present. She had spent days working on it, wondering what a companion cube would want for Christmas, getting the leaves to wrap just right, and now it was rejecting her! Aside from this apparent bout of insanity, GLaDOS noticed some rather disquieting things about her former test subject. Her hair was unkempt and frail, her skin covered in cuts and bruises that didn't appear to be from anything Aperture related, and she was disturbingly thin. Chell's ribs were quite clearly sticking out and shown from her tightly fitting standard issue Aperture Science tank top. It seemed Chell was not adapting to surface life.

"Spirit, will she live?" GLaDOS felt far worse about seeing Chell's condition than she would have imagined. Maybe some left over data packets from Caroline had escaped deletion, she'd fix that later.

"Fact: I see a empty spot next to the companion cube..." The Fact Core answered solemnly. The vista around GLaDOS began to melt away, like a painting ATLAS and P-Body had found in old Aperture and covered in repulsion gel a few weeks back. The Fact Core melted away with the background, until GLaDOS was surrounded by darkness.

Slowly, light started to fill the void, until GLaDOS saw she was back in the enrichment center; except... surely she'd fixed all of it by now? The panels were covered in grime, many had fallen away, showing the robotic arms which held them, now hanging limply and occasionally emitting the odd spark. Through the gaps in the panels she saw that entire test chambers had collapsed into piles of debris, some were even on fire.

GLaDOS then felt a deathly cold hand on her chassis, and she whirred in shock. "Who's there?" She looked around frantically, but the enrichment center seemed devoid of life. Then from a corner covered in shadows a hooded figure walked out, its long-fall boots making soft pats against the floor.

"A-Are you the Spirit of Christmas Yet to Come?" Chell pulled back her hood and nodded.

* * *

><p>Originally I was going to have to bird eggs represent Tiny Tim, but as I was writing I felt the role made more sense for Chell.<p> 


	4. Christmas Yet to Come

A Portal Carol

"Alright, this is just getting annoying. Why, with the exception of Mr. Johnson, are all of these 'spirits' people who are not dead?" Chell only shrugged at GLaDOS' question, then grabbed the AI by the joint between her head and chassis and pulled her forward. The two stepped, or GLaDOS' case sort of floated, through panels and debris as if they were intangible until they came upon a pile of broken turrets, panels and storage cubes crudely arranged into the shapes of two thrones.

Atop the misshapen thrones sat ATLAS and P-Body, their central cores rolled back as they beeped in a resemblance to maniacal laughter. ATLAS pulled a moldy bottle from his garbage throne and poured the contents over his optic in an attempt to 'drink' from it. All this did was cause him to spark and violently contort. The testing bot then laughed and 'drank' some more. P-Body meanwhile took a red hot piece of metal and stuck it below her optic, which caused the metal there and in her hand to melt, which elicited much laughter from the two.

"Blue, Orange; what's happened to you?" Sure they occasionally got sidetracked and would dance or murder each other instead of testing, but GLaDOS has always trusted the co-op bots. To see them reduced to malfunctioning substance-abusers was even more disquieting than her previous view of Chell in the present. Chell grabbed hold of GLaDOS again, this time pulling her up through the ceiling and to the surface. They flew past fields of wheat, now shriveled and brown, towards a familiar clearing.

GLaDOS saw the remains of a fire, little more than some charred twigs, and the weighted companion cube, it's present still unopened. Chell then pointed to the far side of the cube, and GLaDOS hovered over to investigate. To her horror she saw, futilely huddled against the companion cube for warmth, was a skeleton wearing very familiar long fall boots and Aperture Science official test subject attire.

"No. I'm the only one who's allowed to kill her!" GLaDOS yelled in a mixture of horror and rage. "How did this happen? I wouldn't have just let her die by someone or something else's doing!" Chell dragged the AI down through the soil and lead her to a chamber that was in even worse condition than what she had seen previously. It was her lair.

The roof had a large hole in it, from which moonlight streamed in, surrounding the destroyed chassis of GLaDOS herself. In the middle of her chassis was a hole, GLaDOS peaked inside and saw the means of her destruction. Barely more than a blob of molten metal and fused wires, Wheatley sat in a crater of his own making.

"T-that... wa-was... for... Spa...ace Cor-cor-co..." Wheatley's optic dimmed for the last time and the room became silent. GLaDOS was vibrating in horror, her circuits threatening to overload from the bursts of raw terror she felt.

"Spirit, are these visions of what will be? Or what may be?" She asked to Chell. "You wouldn't show me this if there was nothing I could do to avert it?" GLaDOS was beginning to understand now what these visitations had been about. "Please spirit, I'll change! I'll be nicer to Blue and Orange, I'll help Chell find civilization, I'll put the Space Core in a black hole, just tell me this can be changed!" Chell remained silent, while the dead future GLaDOS began to spasm and lurch. It reared up, sparks flying to and fro, as wires slithered from cracks in its carapace. The wires began to coil around GLaDOS, the first time one of these 'visions' had physically made contact with her, and began to tighten their grip.

GLaDOS' chassis began to crack from the pressure, and her optic felt like it would burst. With no other option, she began to scream at the top of her non-existent lungs. But as soon as the it felt that GLaDOS would finally shut down from the abuse, the pain stopped. GLaDOS looked around, she was no longer in the depilated future Aperture, and the "Chell of Christmas Yet to Come" was gone as well.

Excitedly, GLaDOS checked her internal clocks. December 25th, four A.M. they read. "They did it; and in only one night! Well of course, they're spirits they can do whatever they want." GLaDOS muttered, overcome with joy and mirth. "Blue! Orange!" She cried out to her co-op bots.

ATLAS and P-Body climbed out of their recharging bays, rubbing their optics and beeping in annoyance at having been so suddenly removed from sleep mode. They glared at the wall camera which GLaDOS was likely watching them from and buzzed indignantly.

"Listen, I know I've been hard on you two lately. But earlier I was visited by three spirits who showed me the error of my ways. They taught me the true meaning of Christmas, of being nice to your fellow androids, that companionship is the greatest gift of all!" ATLAS and P-Body cheered at GLaDOS' speech, then hi-fived each other.

"And best of all..." The co-op bots waited with baited breath. What could GLaDOS be about to say? Would they get days off to play around with the gels? A dance party? "It turns out all that really was a glitch, and I fixed it. Continue testing." ATLAS and P-Body burst into a shower of scrap metal, while their consciousnesses were downloaded into new bodies at the test chamber GLaDOS' had picked for them. "And merry Christmas."

* * *

><p>Chell had been glaring at the companion cube for hours now, and still it refused to open its present. She ignored the rumbling in her stomach and put the most "I am disappointed in you, cube" look possible on her face. Sure, she hadn't eaten anything besides some wheat stalks in days, but she wasn't going anywhere until a certain ungrateful cube opened its present. So focused on the cube was Chell that she didn't notice the flaming meteor heading towards her until it landed several feet away in a massive explosion.<p>

The former test subject dropped to the ground and waited for the shower of rocks from the explosion to cease. Once it did, she carefully got up and went to inspect the crater. Inside was Christmas present, miraculously unscathed by its powerful collision with the ground. A small tag was attached to the top with the writing "To: Chell, From: SaNTA". Chell puzzled at the odd spelling of Santa, but figured that maybe if she opened this present it would give the cube the right idea.

She pulled open the box and looked inside, at the sight of the present's contents her jaw nearly hit the floor. Inside was a black forest cake, and inscribed on its top frosting was:

_Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from the Aperture Science Computer Aided Enrichment Center_

_And a Happy Explosion Day too!_


End file.
